Guilt and fairies - Mcbloggery prompt

It follows me everywhere. It creeps along behind me like some malevolent mouse, ready to whiz up my trouser leg and clamp its teeth into my butt. Because, and let's be honest here, when guilt hits it goes for the butt. Don't tell me you haven't wriggled in your jeans during that butt-clenching moment of guilty realisation. Forget heart and mind, guilt attacks the behind!

I doubt there's a day goes by when I don't feel that nibble of guilt. Let's take rest as an example. Despite the fact that I've been up since the screech of cock-call, made bread and cake, prepared ingredients for the evening meal, completed three loads of laundry and hung them on the line, been shopping, written two short stories and walked for an hour, all by mid-day... I feel guilty when I lie down and fall asleep, the deliciousness that is the afternoon siesta.

Apparently, somewhere in my brain, the guilt fairy sat up, took notice and sent a memo. It read:

How dare you sleep! Think about all the things you haven't done. You could have watched mindless TV, eaten your way through enough chocolate to feed a small village and drunk enough coffee to re-float the Titanic in your attempts to fill that empty hour, but no. Instead you slept! Outrageous behaviour. Immediately work until you drop, become irritable enough that sparks fly off your hair if anyone dares talk to you, and end the day in a bad mood, tired and hating yourself. Love and hugs, The Guilt Fairy.

Another doozy is family. I've spent 20+ years bringing up my kids, keeping house and putting my life, my very self, on hold. Now, with two living with their gentlemen, the other two at home, but more than capable of fending for themselves, why do I feel guilt at the least thing? Why do I still feel I have to be here, have an evening meal prepared, run round after them as if they are still ten years old? Is there really anything wrong with my not having dinner on the table by 6pm, as it's always been? Oh wait.... another memo from 'Her'.

Do you really think there is no harm in that? Tut, tut, foolish one, you do not deserve the title mother! You stand on the precipice. Today, no dinner waiting, tomorrow too weak to avoid the oncoming truck. Today no laundry washed and placed in their rooms (where it will instantly descend to the floor and require re-washing within two days), tomorrow attacked by Necrotizing Fasciitis. Today, not there to listen to their problems (because you dared to leave the house for ten minutes), tomorrow, shooting up heroin and drinking methylated spirits in the gutter. You are about to kill your children! Immediately see to all of the above and do not leave the house ever again, just in case. Love you, The Guilt Fairy.

Honestly, it isn't really that bad... (twitch), but sometimes it does feel that I can't allow myself to do anything. Yesterday was a spiritual festival for me, Lammas. I walk my own path, and although my way may not be the way of others, most of us will have given some thought to upholding important oaths in our lives. I'm making one right now.

I swear, by the Lady and Lord, guardians of my strength and resolve, that I'm gonna buy a mousetrap, bait it with guilt-laden Swiss cheese and attach it to the bottom of my trousers! No more guilt about stupid things which no-one else in the house gives a flying fairy about!

...and if so much as one of you mentions that it'll just run up the other leg, there will be trouble... and possibly guilt as I bury your body.

Bright Blessings

Mojo