Sam thrashed
awake, but the grinding pain did not dissolve in the face of fluorescent brilliance.
The claws tearing at his eyes resolved into his fingernails, shreds of bloodied
bandage clinging, entangled.
A door
banged open followed by brisk tutting. Hands appeared in his pink-tinged vision
adeptly wrapping fresh bandages into place, removing sight but not sensation.
The howling screams continued in the depths of his brain and the urge to rip at
his eyes was overwhelming. Even as his hands rose once more there was a sharp
snick in his arm, fluid flowing, oblivion following. He didn’t feel the reassuring
pat on his arm, the quiet words of Nurse Clarke;
“Dr Arthur
says it’ll be a couple more days before those can come off, hon. Patience now.”
Sam slipped
in and out of the next few days. He pain was constant, the urge to scratch his
eyes so insistent they had to keep him fully sedated. When he tried to gouge in
his sleep he woke to find his arms restrained, a nurse on guard on a chair at
his bedside.
Dr Arthur, a
bloody blur through gauze and soreness, decided they had waited long enough.
The bandages were snipped away, cooling wash applied to the reddened eyes and
they waited.
Sam came up
out of his nightmares, blinking furiously. Wisely, they had retained the
restraints. Nurse Clarke was on hand with a hypo full of sedative.
“Well, the
big day, Sam. How is it? Can you see me?”
Sam closed
his eyes against the constant pain and frenetic itch which raced back and forth
across his transplanted eyeballs. Unwillingly, he opened them, squinting.
“Sort of.
Everything is pink, and the itching. Why won’t it stop?”
His breathing
became ragged, bloodshot eyes darting in panic and Nurse Clarke hovered closer,
oblivion readied.
“It takes a little
time, Sam. The body has a way of trying to throw out invaders. The drugs will
help, so be patient.”
“What if the
pain never stops? The itch? The screaming?”
“Screaming?
I think you are a little disoriented, Sam. Rest and recover, patiently. All
will resolve.”
The doctor
nodded to Clarke who put Sam back under. Returned to his nightmare of howling,
scratching and rending, Sam began to lose his mind.
Three days
later they tried to bring him back up. Whilst four orderlies attempted to
contain his thrashing limbs, to replace the broken restraints, Nurse Clarke
caught a glimpse of the yellow irises in a face distorted by howling agony. She
wasn’t sure these experiments with cross-species body parts was morally sound,
but she had a job to do. Gently as she could she put Sam back under.
That night,
as she sat beside his bed, reading and dozing, his eyes flicked open. No disguising
the lupine origins of that stare. For the first time Sam lay still, bloody
tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. She became aware of how hard he was
holding against the pain, the urge to claw and rip. His voice was little more
than a low rasp, from a throat ravaged by screams.
“Let me go,
please.”
“I can’t,
Sam. I swore to save life, not take it.”
“This isn’t
living. This is two animals fighting for one body. He is scared, doesn’t
understand what he sees. He is caged. I am never going to be strong enough to
contain him. What happens when I lose? Put us down, please.”
Later, as
she closed his lids of staring yellow eyes, helped prepare him for his final
journey, Nurse Clarke made a quiet phone-call to the national press.
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